One thing is for certain. God made my children perfect. The are whole and complete and beautiful little ones. Thankful I have friends in my life that can remind me of that while I wait to hear the outcome of our appointment for Ava on Dec. 17th.
Oh - and my house is a mess tonight and I don't care….going to enjoy a glass of wine and go to bed.
The end!
My Family
Thursday, November 21, 2013
Thursday, November 7, 2013
God is Good. I am Blessed.
Obviously my last point of "Am I back" was a no go. I find myself barely having time on my hands to take a shower with 2 littles ones let alone have time to sit down and put my thoughts of the day out there for the world to read.
This is what I have to say for the past 11 months. It has been good. God is good. I feel blessed.....and then it brings me to today. Anxiousness, stress, loss of patience, feeling of sadness. It may not seem like that big of a deal to many, but my little Ava will be 16 months on Nov. 13th and she is still not crawling on her knees and hands and won't bear weight on her feet. She did break her leg at 1 year old and had an adorable pink cast for 3 weeks. So with that being said yes maybe she is just behind from that. However, my brain won't stop spinning. I guess it is just a Mom-thing to worry. Worry that if there is something a matter with her little legs she will be different than the rest and limited to things. The picture I have for her life and our lives won't be the same. So why you ask am I jumping to conclusions when so far all doctors have thought she is fine. Because I am a mom dang it! I want the absolute best for my baby. My eyes well with tears thinking of a chance of her not being able to walk.
We take things for granted in life. I realize I took for granted the use of an index finger and how one little finger on your hand that you use to point at things and scratch your head and get that one last bit of peanut butter out of the jar seem like nothing until you are unable to move it and then the surgery and then it is never the same. I have a gimpy finger now for life and the pain I still feel in my joints at times is a constant reminder of how I almost lost my finger. Thank God for his love and care and how he watches over and protects us. Amazing how until my little Ava is walking I have taken for granted how healthy I am and Luke and Aubrie and I realize how I take for granted the normal every day little things like getting out of bed in the morning and walking around on 2 perfectly good legs God gave me.
So why you ask don't I take some of my own advice towards my daughter. She will be ok, God is watching over her and protecting her and wants the best for her. The Devil. Damn him! He sneaks in and is happy that I dwell on the what-if's and the doubts creep in more and more and next thing you know I can barely hold myself together with the fear I hold inside.
I am a mom. I love Jesus and I need Him. So friends (if there are any that would possibly even read this anymore). I need your help. I need your prayers. This next week until we have an appointment with our MD. Pray that I find peace and Trust in the Almighty. That God will direct my thoughts and my focus will turn on HIM and the Goodness and Blessing he wants to give to Ava and me and our family.
God is good. I am blessed. Learning to Trust in Him. The end.
This is what I have to say for the past 11 months. It has been good. God is good. I feel blessed.....and then it brings me to today. Anxiousness, stress, loss of patience, feeling of sadness. It may not seem like that big of a deal to many, but my little Ava will be 16 months on Nov. 13th and she is still not crawling on her knees and hands and won't bear weight on her feet. She did break her leg at 1 year old and had an adorable pink cast for 3 weeks. So with that being said yes maybe she is just behind from that. However, my brain won't stop spinning. I guess it is just a Mom-thing to worry. Worry that if there is something a matter with her little legs she will be different than the rest and limited to things. The picture I have for her life and our lives won't be the same. So why you ask am I jumping to conclusions when so far all doctors have thought she is fine. Because I am a mom dang it! I want the absolute best for my baby. My eyes well with tears thinking of a chance of her not being able to walk.
We take things for granted in life. I realize I took for granted the use of an index finger and how one little finger on your hand that you use to point at things and scratch your head and get that one last bit of peanut butter out of the jar seem like nothing until you are unable to move it and then the surgery and then it is never the same. I have a gimpy finger now for life and the pain I still feel in my joints at times is a constant reminder of how I almost lost my finger. Thank God for his love and care and how he watches over and protects us. Amazing how until my little Ava is walking I have taken for granted how healthy I am and Luke and Aubrie and I realize how I take for granted the normal every day little things like getting out of bed in the morning and walking around on 2 perfectly good legs God gave me.
So why you ask don't I take some of my own advice towards my daughter. She will be ok, God is watching over her and protecting her and wants the best for her. The Devil. Damn him! He sneaks in and is happy that I dwell on the what-if's and the doubts creep in more and more and next thing you know I can barely hold myself together with the fear I hold inside.
I am a mom. I love Jesus and I need Him. So friends (if there are any that would possibly even read this anymore). I need your help. I need your prayers. This next week until we have an appointment with our MD. Pray that I find peace and Trust in the Almighty. That God will direct my thoughts and my focus will turn on HIM and the Goodness and Blessing he wants to give to Ava and me and our family.
God is good. I am blessed. Learning to Trust in Him. The end.
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