Blessings

I am reminded over and over again about how lucky Luke and I are. We are so blessed to have amazing family and friends. The amount of support that we have received again with this loss of our 2nd baby is overwhelming. So THANK YOU to all of our family and friends for your love and support.

Now.....on to how life is really going. Luke is doing well. He is hurt and sad and I am sure mad at the loss of our 2nd baby, but he is doing well. He closed a big deal at work the other day and is of course out on the golf course as I write this.

Myself, well I am making it. Wednesday was a very hard day for me. I wanted to hibernate in my bed under the covers. My mom came over to help get me up and motivated. My first full day back at work was Thursday. I have an Amazing work family who loves and supports me and have really been a sense of comfort, though it was hard to get back to real life by going to work.

Logically I know that God has a plan for Luke and I. However, I am human, and I am sad, mad and don't understand how after losing Little Brian that we could lose our 2nd baby. But I truly believe that we will be blessed with a little baby some day and when that does happen, you people be ready for a party!!!!

I met with someone at church the other day. She let my cry and talk. It was goo to get out how I feel and actually speak the words of my fears and sadness and hurt. She read to me Psalm 23, and that has been repeating in my head over and over and I have found comfort in that.

Psalm 23 - The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quite waters. He restores my soul.

Something else that she said to me when we met that has resonated in my mind was to cling to God right now, go to him and that is where I will find the peace I need through this. I may not pray constantly throughout the day or sit and read my bible on a daily basis, but I know God is with me. I feel it. I am not someone to over spiritualize, but with the love and support of my family and friends and knowing that God has not left me, I will be ok, I will get through and someday hold in my arms a miracle from God. I do believe that and find comfort in that.

So for now, I have good and bad moments. I am still sad and grieving the loss of our 2nd baby. But all I do is take 1 day at a time. I am thankful for the blessings in my life of family and friends and for today, I am ok!