Life goes on

My mom looked over and chuckled at me as I sat in the waiting room of the hospital holding the book I have been reading in my hand. "Why did you bring a book?" She aska, I replied, "Because remember last time how long I had to wait in the waiting room." We both kind of chuckled then at the ridiculousness of me bringing a book. Maybe it was for comfort or to try to make myself feel better for what was ahead, I don't know. Of course then about 2 minutes later a nurse called my name and I was back changing into a beautiful purple gown that hooks up to these tubes and inflates your gown to keep you warm.
After getting all the normal information from me, I met with my doctor and then the anesthesiologist. I made sure this time to let everyone know that they cannot give me an IV in my left hand, it doesn't work and they HAD to use my right hand. (Last time they poked me 4 times in my left hand before going to the right and I am never able to give blood from my left arm either...weird) Also, I made sure to let the doctor know that I get really sick after anesthesia, they said they would give me different medicines to help with that.

Luke wasn't able to be with me yesterday because it was the last day of the month and last day of the quarter for him, which was just fine with me since I would just be out of it after surgery anyways.

Getting my IV went fine, I wiggled my toes as normal and closed my eyes as I felt the "prick, then burn" as they try and gently explain it. So purple gown on, robe around my shoulders and IV in my right hand, I walked with the nurse anesthetist to the OR. I got in the room not much bigger than our downstairs bedroom here with bright lights all around me and a table of all the different tools my doctor would need. The nurse had me lay down on the OR table and they stretched my arms out on each side of me. Next thing I new I was looking up at this big lights and the tears just started coming. Again, for the 3rd time, I would go home from the same hospital without a baby in my arms. As that last thought went through my mind, the next thing I new I was back in my room slowly waking up. I can remember my doctor coming in and saying that everything went just fine. Thankfully this time the anesthesiologist took many precautions to help me with nausea so I wasn't getting sick after I woke up.

So yesterday my mom got me home around 3pm. I was in bed the rest of the day waking up here and there as my mom left and Luke came home. I nibbled on a couple crackers and drank Fanta (a must have in the Peterson house) and thought how I hated this part. I hate the part where now I have to move forward. No matter what life goes on just as it did before and I am left for the 3rd time now without a baby and this time without knowing if that is a possibility for Luke and I for the future. Thankfully I have the rest of the week and weekend to take the time I need emotionally and then starting Monday, life is back to normal....or Life Goes On. That is just the reality.