I had an interesting weekend. It started out on Friday with a friend of mine becoming very upset with me for not attending her baby shower the next day.

For all of you out there....I want you to know, if I don't go to something, please do not take it personally. I am so excited for all of my friends who are starting their families and having babies.
I feel that I have come along way in just under 6 months (it will be 6 months next Sat). However, there are still things that make me SO sad and I still cry and have a hard time.

Baby showers are difficult for me. Maybe it is because I was pregnant and never got the chance to have a baby shower and celebrate my baby. But please know that I am not trying to be rude or selfish or mistreat you as a friend. I am still struggling. Nothing can ever fill the place in my heart for my son Brian Lucas. He will always be my first child and I will go on to telling his sisters or brothers that they had a baby brother that never lived on this earth. But friends....know that in my heart I am so excited and happy for you who have babies and are staring your families. I am thankful now that God has allowed Luke and I more time with each other. What we have gone through has only made us stronger and I am thankful that we haven't jumped back into trying to start a family. I am still healing, so friends, please understand.