Finally, it is Friday. I really don't have a whole lot planned for the weekend, but I hope it is nice so that I can be outside. Tonight would be a great night to have a bonfire, or to go swimming....Rebecca, should I come swim in your pool!

It is 2pm right now and I can't WAIT to go home.........Thank Goodness it is FRIDAY!

SO FRUSTRATING

When you go to Motherhood Maternity for the first time they sign you up to receive emails, info. in the mail and about anything that can get you to buy something for a baby. I have been trying for MONTHS to unsubscribe myself to all of these emails that I seriously receive daily!

Yesterday was the kicker when I received an email that said, "Your baby is 11 months old!" Ummm...NO IT IS NOT! MY BABY DIED!!!! I feel like I should start trying to send letters to these companies and complain. Enfamil is the worst, I have received 4 8 oz. cans of formula in the mail and brochures probably every week.

I am past the "sad and depressed" stage and finally ok with everything. But I really don't' need constant reminders that I would have an 11 month old baby right now!!

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

BAD DREAM!

Last night I had a HORRIBLE dream. I dreamt that Bethany and Kurbis were pregnant and that they would not tell Luke and I! They came back from Africa to visit and were being very distant from us. All I can really remember is that from my dream and crying constantly!

So I felt very emotionally drained when I woke up this morning. I think I dreamt about them being pregnant because my neighbor is and I probably dreamt about Bethany and Kurbis because I have been thinking about them and missing them lately.

I am contemplating getting a 3rd job. 1. being Executive Title , 2. being Lia Sophia and 3. maybe working as a cashier at Coborn's! Yeah, I know it is not the most glamorous job, but a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do. I need some extra change and it is not going to appear out of thin air!

I can't wait for the 4th of July weekend. We will be up at the cabin with my family. I can't wait to relax in the sun and be on the lake. It should be a good time.

Hope everyone is doing well.

My life as it is....For Real!

I have been debating on whether or not to post this blog. The title of my blog is, "My life as it is..." but sometimes I don't divulge on my life exactly how it really is. At times, it is too hard to truly share the emotions that run through my mind and that consume my day at times.

Last Saturday, the day of the wedding I thought I was getting the dreaded "PERIOD!"

Little did I know that is NOT what it was. Well I am 90% sure that is Not what it was. I am pretty sure that I had a miscarriage after some events that took place on Sunday. We were not trying, but not being very careful either for a couple of months. After that happened last week, it just shook my world. I was NOT myself at all the whole week. I was SO extremely exhausted and depressed. I barely could pull myself out of bed in the morning. One morning I even went as far as not going into work until noon because I was so exhausted, felt like crap and depressed. I pulled myself into work with a horrible head ache and just wanted to cry.

I am not sharing this piece of information with you so that you feel bad for me or tell me you are sorry. The reason I share this is because I like people to know what is really going on in my life. I like to be real with my friends. For those of you who know me I usually divulge too much information!

So not only did I have that happen to me last week, but Luke and I finally realized the pain after a year of losing about $20,000 income from changing jobs. We are on a strict budget and cannot extend ourselves by purchasing anything unnecessary. We are not allowed to go out to eat, by lunches, buy coffee(which will be torture for me), buy anything extra or not needed. I am going to try and keep us on this budget for 6 months. I will probably be cancelling our home phone service as well. The thing that is killing us right now is gas and groceries. For example, Luke and I figured out that we spend almost $1000 a month on gas between the 2 of us! That is just ridiculous. But you have to do what you have to do to get to your job. Also, groceries seem to be going up weekly I fell like, OK, maybe just dog food. A 20 lb. bag of dog food used to cost me just over $15, last week when I went to pick up a 20lb. bag of Iams, it cost me $19.99....and I don't even think we have seen the full affect of gas prices yet on the things we consume! What this also means to me is that we will not be able to start trying for kids when I thought we were going to. Luke and I do need to be smart about it and be financially stable before we bring a child into the picture. Yes, I know that a lot of people aren't expecting babies and make it work some how, but if I can work at getting my financial situation more under control before kids, that is what I want to try to do. So sorry Sari, I may be preggers when you get married....j/k!

Luke and I had storm damage from the storm that came through on Memorial Day weekend...hail damage. Well on Saturday night we came home from getting caught at Friendly Days in the storm to all the shakes ripped off the front of our house lying in our neighbors yard.....one more head ache! Thank goodness for insurance!

Last but not least to add to my frustration, anxiety and depression, I had gone into the doctor in regards to a lumpy area in my breast. She then sent me on to a Breast surgeon. So you can imagine the thoughts going through a woman's mind when she doesn't know what the heck is going on! I was thankful to find out that I am at a low risk for breast cancer. The sore spot in my breast is probably from the hormonal changes my body went through from being pregnant, delivery and then being on birth control. I was educated be the surgeon, she told me that the longer you menstruate in your life, the more at risk you are for breast cancer. Exercising 3 times a week for at least 30 minutes decreases your chance for breast cancer, so anything over that is a bonus! Also, if you drink more than 20 glasses of alcohol a week it increases your chance for breast cancer.


With all that said, a lot has happened in the last week and a lot that makes my mind go crazy! I am thankful to know that I have a loving God who is with me and protects me. And I am thankful for a loving husband who is there for me and understands me, well some of the time understands me.....you know.......we all have our crazy moments :)

So rather than a sorry, just say a little prayer for Luke and I that God will keep our spirits up and guide us through some difficult times.

As for today...........it is a great day! I got up, put on a cute dress to wear to work and was ready for the day ahead of me. As my Papa says, "One day at a time!"

Pics from the Wedding

SO EXHAUSTED

I am SO tired from the wedding and all the festivities this weekend.........I will post pictures at some point.....it isn't even 1/2 way through the day and I can't wait to get home!

I am Offensive............yet again

I realized today again, when a co-worker made a comment to me that I should not say the work "RETARD"! I am not sure why I say that word, but at least I am not swearing, Right?

It unfortunately is a word that flows too naturally from my lips, what can ya do!

So my new goal is to stop saying the word "RETARD".

Breast WHAT?

On Tuesday I had a doctor appt. because I have had a lump in my left breast that has been sore. After meeting with my doctor she sent me down to the "Breast Center" for a Breast ULTRASOUND! Isn't that a weird concept! An ultrasound on your boob! I thought it was weird. I have had an ultrasound before on my boob and then they had to cut it open and take a biopsy.....NOT FUN! Thankfully this time it was nothing, so I was able to go free!

As I was lying there in the dark room watching the ultrasound tech push this thing on my boob all I could think about is what can they really see? There is nothing moving around in there!
So that is my strange thought process of the day.

This weekend we have Luke's brothers wedding, for John and Rebecca. Luke is the Best Man and I am a bridesmaid. It should be pretty fun, Luke's whole family will be there and my parents and Sari and Ry will be there as well. I can't wait to dance the night away....too bad there isn't any alcohol though.....I may have to pack a cooler in my car w/ some beers and go out and slam one every now and then........ ;) JUST KIDDING! Ok, well partially kidding partially not. I may need a little alcohol to make it through :)

I look HOT!

There is nothing better than being able to have a good laugh with your husband.

For the past 3 nights in a row I have been rollerblading 6 miles! Last night I debated to go or not, but decided that it wasn't raining so I would get my arse out there and move. (I am starting to train for my marathon in September).

Let me tell you, I looked HOT last night. Picture this...........Ali dressed in black leggings a long sleeve white shirt with Luke's old Fridley Golf windbreaker over me and a pink bandanna covering my ears and then my huge honkin Rollerblades to top it all off.

I came in the house to get my water bottle and Luke and I both laughed at the ridiculousness of how I looked. Seriously, I can't believe I had the guts to go out and Rollerblade while looking like such a dork!

As I made my way out of the neighborhood I just kept thinking, "oh I hope no one in my neighborhood drives by!" Thankfully I was safe. I didn't see anyone as I went as quick as I could out of my neighborhood!

A Saturday in the life of Ali

Saturday's are the best days.....especially when Luke is golfing!

I woke up around 9:30am to let the dogs out and feed them. I love this time of year because I can have the sliding door open to the deck and just leave it open w/ out mosquito and creapy crwaly things entering my house. After feeding the babies, I got back in bed to sleep in some more. Luke isn't necessarily an early riser, but he is up by 9am usually on the weekends and of course wants me to get up with him, so I was glad when I could crawl back inside my comfy warm soft bed and close my eyes for another hour...or more!

I ended up getting up around 11am.......I know.....I know....you think I am lazy! Well hello! I was in Vegas last weekend, I needed to catch up on sleep :)

So I ventured outside and it was beautiful.....sunny and warm...finally! I realized I ate a bowl of cereal out on the deck and had my morning coffee...there is nothing better than being in your pj's until almost noon on a Saturday! Finally I realized I should get out of my pj's to put on more comfy clothes to do yard work in. I changed, threw the dogs in the car and dropped them off to get groomed. Hogan wasn't very happy....poor poopies!

I drove to my favorite Nursery in town, Schultes......I bought a couple new perennials for my garden and went home and planted them. I LOVE working in my garden........I still have a lot to do, i ma going to take out all teh wood chips and either put new ones in or put down cocoa shells, we'll see.

So after 3 hours in the garden I picked up my dogs and headed back home. I sat outside and enjoyed the day and then when Luke got home, I took a nap.........what day could be better than that! :)

Oh.........then of course we had another storm come our way...I was SO scared and freaked out....I found the dog leashes and hooked the dogs up and made them sit under the stairs w/ me. I think seeing what happened in Hugo just scared the crap out of me, so I took cover! Thankfully no more hail damage than we already have!