Not much to say

I am distraught over still not having a cell phone!
I swear every day I read about someone else who is pregnant.
I have had some really strange dreams lately.
My dogs finally got a couple walks in this weekend.
I of course scrap-booked over the weekend.
I was able to spend a lot of time w/ my neighbors kids over the weekend.
This was the first year Luke and I stayed home and watched the Superbowl just the 2 of us.
I still have many mixed feelings about if I should stay on BC or not.
I am going to start teaching piano lessons for sure in the spring.
I love that I get to see my sister just about every day now.
I am finally backing up all my pictures on discs, hopefully before my computer dies on me.
I realized that I wrote a whole Christmas card, addressed envelopes but never brought them to the post office.
I visited my Grandparents over the weekend and they knew who I was and my Grandpa even told me he loved me when I left.

That is a good note to end on.

T.M.I.

This is probably just way too much info....but I don't know what to do and am SO frustrated.

I have been on B.C. since I lost little angel #2. However....I have been having my "friend" every other week sine before Christmas! It is SO frustrating. I am going to call my OB tomorrow, but what the HECK is going on! After talking to my mom tonight she said that maybe I should just go off of the pill. I thought, yeah, maybe I should.....But then I sit here as tears well up in my eyes scared out of my mind.

It was easy starting to try for #2 because in my mind nothing bad was going to happen again. But now, after everything we have been through, I don't know if I can handle much more. Just the mere thought of becoming pregnant and the unknowns for Luke and I scares the crap out of me.

I want to start a family more than anything. But is now the time? And with that comes so many scary things in my mind.

I also think about great things too....like how I had so much fun with Ben on Saturday and that someday I will have a little guy or girl of my own to laugh with and take pictures of and read books to. But the uncertainty of putting something out there again to be taken away and feel heart ache and pain weighs so heavy on my heart.

So I guess my hope and prayer is that I will have peace if we are supposed to start trying.

And about my "friend" every other week........that is what is TMI for everyone to know :)

Weekend Review

I had a great weekend. I spent Saturday watching Marty and Jessie's little guy Ben. He was SO good. Never cried once. We had fun playing with toys and reading books. I even did a great job changing his diaper 4 times thank you very much :)

Here is a pic.

After my adventures in babysitting I went over to my neighbor Angie's for dinner and to scrapbook. I do have a severe obsession with scrapbooking. I put some of my pages on my facebook page, reason being they are pics. from our trip to Las Vegas w/ the Kurbis' :)

Sunday I headed to Archivers for more of my favorite activity and then Luke and I went to our favorite spot for dinner, Rancho.

The bad news about the weekend is that my cell phone broke. When I plug the charger in, it won't charge. Damn phone! Anyways, it looks like the place that you plug the charger into on the phone is bent/broke....so of course stupid Tmobile is telling me that is considered "external" damage so they won't give me a new phone even though I have had my phone less than 1 year! GRRRR! I am hoping that Luke will be able to work some magic today and get me a new phone.

Luke gave his resignation on Monday. He is now a banker again, now working for Associated Bank and a Business Development Manager or something like that. Way to go LUKE :)

So that is all for now..........I am hoping to get a new phone soon......we'll see :)

Sista Sista

Today my sister started working with me here in my office. She is working about 20 hours a week, but it will be fun to have her here! (I actually started singing in my head, "Sisters, Sisters...", you knowl, the song from White Christmas!)
So cited SISTA!



So here is my week recap.......Said goodbye to our BF's on Monday, went snowmobiling on Tuesday, watched LOST and had dinner at the Martin's on Wednesday, Luke went snowmobiling on Thursday and I watched Private Practice and balled my eyes out...It was VERY emotional, Friday, today, Sari starts working with me and then we are having dinner with Ana and Adam at 3 Squares in the Grove.



Tomorrow I am babysitting Marty and Jessie's baby boy, Ben. I am very excited to spend time with him, he is SO freakin' cute and such a happy baby. I am just afraid of one thing.....changing a diaper! I seriously have not changed a diaper since babysitting in High School, so yeah, a little nervous about that part! But I am going to bring him over to my neighbor Angie's house cuz she has tons of toys :)



Saturday night I will be enjoying my favorite past time, can anyone guess what that is? Scrapbookin' baby! Oh yes, I will be trying to get caught up, I am WAY behind.



Sunday we don't have any plans. I am hoping maybe Luke and I can get out snowmobiling.



Hope everyone has a great weekend!

I hate Goodbye

Last night we said goodbye to Kurbis and Bethany. Yes, I shed a few tears, but controlled myself from sobbing uncontrollably.

I will miss those 2 like crazy! We are so blessed to have them in our lives. I don't know what I would do without them. Even though I am sad that I won't see my dear Bethany for a while, I know we will keep in touch and be able to communicate. My goal is to give her a weekly update of our lives.......whether she likes it or not :)

I have some fun pictures and will post them tonight from last night.

So, Goodbye Kurbis and Bethany for somewhere around 365 days! We love you guys!

Can I go Home YET?

It is time for me to go home. I am truly exhausted. I am going to try and workout tonight...I haven't in way too long. Once you start it is easy to keep going, but it is the starting part that seems to be hard for me.

I am hoping that maybe I can convince my sister to come over and work-out with me, maybe that will help me get back into it. Not to mention I hurt my knee this past weekend so I am afraid to workout on it........ANYWAYS!!!!!

I am really looking forward to my first baby shower on Saturday. Now 1 year and 9 months later I feel ok to have a shower for my neighbor Erica. She is having a boy, he is due to arrive on February 17th, but I have a feeling she might go early, we'll see :)

Anyways for her shower we are having all the neighborhood ladies over (i love that I call us ladies and the oldest of us isn't even 35!) and then we are doing what we do best....scrapbooking! We are putting together pages for Erica's scrapbook so all she has to do is add photos. It should be a lot of fun. We are doing it in the morning and then having brunch. I am really looking forward to it.

Well that is all for now.........hopefully my sister will come over tonight :)

10 things

I feel like my blog posts have been SUPER boring lately. I apologize. I just feel like there hasn't been a whole lot to write about.

Well today I have a couple thing to write about, so here I go!

1. Luke had a 2nd interview today, so we should hear by the end of the week whether or not he got the job. For those of you who don't know, w/ the economy the way it is his current company has been struggling and he may not have a job for too much longer, so he is being proactive in looking for work. He is going back into the banking world. It is kind of a breath of fresh air knowing that my husband will be "Luke the Banker" again. I mean, lets be honest, the guy could barely turn on a computer and all of a sudden he knows everything about high-tech sound equipment, weird. So I am really praying hard that this position works out, it would sure answer A LOT of prayers!

2. My work has picked up. Things were slow for me here for a while, but now with interest rates dropping a lot of people are refinancing. We are even so busy that Sari might be coming to work with me for a couple of weeks. Oh, yeah, Sari.....(aka SISTA) lost her job a week ago last Friday. She was bumbed but is hoping for a job she will truly like.

3. I finally took Christmas out of the house yesterday. Not only did I do that, but I totally cleaned the upstairs as well. I really want to rearrange my living room, but I have no clue how I would do it....any suggestions?

4. Kurbis and Bethany are leaving soon. Their flight date right now is set for Jan. 21st, but it will probably even be pushed back a little from then. I feel bad for them that they have had to wait SO long to be able to leave.

5. My neighbor Angie had her little boy Jackson on Jan. 2nd....he was 8lbs. 15oz. and 21 inches long...he is SO cute.

6. I found out that my levels are good. I only have to get my blood drawn for 3 more months, Feb, March and April....then Luke and I should be able to start trying again. But right now I am not sure if I want to start trying right then....we'll see. I am enjoying just Luke, Ali, Sadie and Hogan time. The 4 of us just lay in bed and cuddle, its fun. I love my babies.
It is funny, we got Hogan the year that we lost little Brian......every time I hug Hogan I am thankful that God gave me that dog, because he is such a cuddler and when I get sad that I don't have a baby to hold and cuddle, I have Hogan.......he's Momma's boy!

7. I CAN'T WAIT for LOST to start, it starts on Jan. 21st! I used to be such a hypocrite of the show, and now I can't wait to watch season 5! it seriously is the best show (well nothing can beat the Sopranos) that I have ever seen.

8. It has been snowing since I stepped foot in my office, which was 8:15am this morning.......I LOVE SNOW!

9. Ryan's car got rear ended on Saturday night. They are waiting to see if it is totalled. Poor guy, it is a brand new car too. It was a hit and run, the car was un-driveable....the pictures are crazy.

10. I hurt my right knee on Friday night. I had to ice it all weekend long. It is feeling better now, but it makes me nervous then for our ski trip in February, hopefully it will be ok.

Ok, so this song keeps playing in my head and I can't get it out!!!!!!!!!
"We love you Conrad, Oh yes we do! We love you Conrad......" I think it is from the musical Bye Bye Birdie.

My sista is bringing me lunch today at work. I am so excited! She lost her job last Friday and may even put in a couple hours a week here at my office until she finds something, we'll see :)

Where is all this snow that we are supposed to get. I was driving into work today with absolutely no traffic, listening to the radio as it is telling me how bad the roads are, I thought maybe they were re-broadcasting a day we had a lot of snow or something, because I had NO traffic for once.

That is all for now....hope everyone has a great weekend! (my goal is to get my Christmas tree taken down finally!)

Please Read!

Hi friends. Luke's old boss from TCF and good friend Rob Larkin's wife was just diagnosed w/ cancer in early December. She just had a double mastectomy and will have to have months of chemotherapy and then radiation. I have a link to her site on Caring Bridge, her name is Amy Larkin. Please keep her and her family in your prayers! Thank you!

It has been WAY too long since I have posted.....however I am too exhausted. I think I got the flu from Jessie's baby....well that is the only person I can think of that was sick....I was puking on Saturday night and didn't get out of bed at all on Sunday. I can't believe I lasted until 3:30pm today at work..............That's all.......more to come!